What It Means To Be Loved

Mark Schultz

This song... has to be one of the best songs in the world, sung by one of my favorite artists. It completely emodies the testimony of my life and the spirit of my whole family, from the day I was born up through high school.  The only main difference between this song and my real life, was the fact that my parents did not have the luxury of having a test done before hand to prepare them for the disorder I was to be born with.  The only possible  preceeding indicator was my parents first child, Jeremy, who was born with my disorder only more complex and severe, who only lived for three months and even then, the doctors said it was a once in a million case never to be repeated again.  So my parents had no warning or preparation to think about any options before I came into the world, only the reality they were dealt with.  The love and faith that held my family together lives on inside of me and I am so grateful for them, for God's miracle and hand in my life. I did not end up marrying the same boy who took me to my high school prom, but God did put a man in my life once I got to college that has been with me for a total of nine years now, including six years of marriage to this date. To say that I am blessed is quite an understatement, but is the only way to accurately sum up my life.  This is especially true since the three words God chose to speak to my Nana to relay to my mother after I was first born were, "Heather is blessed", along with a vision of me walking across a stage at graduation.    

For five months, eight days, my wife and I had waited

Getting ready for our baby girl

But when the doctor came and said, I need to see you

And could you come in soon?

Something died inside of me to sit with him and hear

The tests that said our baby may not live to be a year

And turning to my wife he said,

What do you want to do?

And she said...

I want to give her the world I want to hold her hand

I want to be her mom for as long as I can

And I want to live every moment, until that day comes

I want to show her what it means to be loved

So we spent each day watching every minute

And praying for our baby girl

And I will not forget the way I felt that moment

When she came into this world

But they took her from the room just as soon as she was born

And watching through a window I could see her holding on

When a voice inside me said...

I want to give her the world I want to be her dad

I want to hold her close for as long as I can

And I want to live every moment, until that day comes

I want to show her what it means to be loved

Well ever since the day we got to bring her home

She's been out to prove the doctors wrong

Oh, and you should see her now

She's as pretty as her mom

And there's a boy at the front door waiting just to take her to her high school prom

And he wants to give her the world, wants to hold her hand

And someday she may get a wedding band

But she's gonna live every moment

Until that day comes

And we're gonna show her what it means to be loved

What it means to be loved

True

Ryan Cabrera

Marriage. This is the song that I walked down the isle to on the day I married my lover and my best friend, Jason William Barth on April 22nd, 2006. This song represents the happiest day of my life. It also represents taking that plunge, taking that step off the cliff into the unknown. Taking risks, embracing change… that thing which I have a love-hate relationship with. Change is hard, but necessary and it develops in you character and strength. That’s what I’ve learned through being married and taking all the steps that I’ve taken thus far. Change makes you who you are because it is when you are forced to change that you find out what you’re made of and who you really are inside. Jesus invites us into the realm of change. He changes us from the inside out and prepares us for stepping off that cliff into the unknown. Marrying Jay was one of, if not the biggest leap I have made. It’s putting your all into another human being that you trust. It’s scary, but it’s just as thrilling. I really had waited my whole life to find someone to give my whole heart to. I always knew that once I had given my heart away, it would be once and for all, no going back, a total commitment. And that’s where I stand right now. I crossed that line, I walked up that isle to my future, I said, “I do” to what lies ahead. Now I walk with Jay, hand in hand, Christ guiding us all the way, and I look forward to all that He has in store for both of us.

I won’t talk, I won’t breathe
I won’t move till you finally see
That you belong with me

You might think I don’t look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I’m attached to you

I’m weak, it’s true
I’m just scared to know the answer
Do you see me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

I’ve waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that’s true
So I will not hide, it’s time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I’ve waited
This is true

You don’t know what you do
Every time you walk into the room
I’m afraid to move

I’m weak, it’s true
I’m just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

I’ve waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that’s true
So I will not hide, it’s time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I’ve waited
This is true

I know when I go, I’ll be on my way to you
The way that’s true

I’ve waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that’s true
So I will not hide, it’s time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I’ve waited
This is true

Breakaway

Kelly Clarkson

The summary of practically my entire life is summed up in this song. The whole experience of breaking away from one’s parents and finding your identity and independence is how this song applies to me. I may not have grown up in a small town (I grew up in Albuquerque, which is the largest city in New Mexico), and I may have dreamed more about going to Africa and riding on the back of an elephant than I did feeling a warm breeze and swinging around wild indoors, this song still has many truths that compare with my life. The verse that says “trying hard to reach out, but when I tried to speak out, felt like no one could hear me” describes, just as the song Sister On Trial describes, the disposition I had in my family (for more explanation see the narrative for the song Sister On Trial by Brian Joseph). Praying has been an integral part of my life and a practice that I use daily. I wanted to belong in my family, but I always felt like there was something more, something I was missing. It wasn’t easy breaking away from my parents whom I had been attached to and dependent upon for so long and who I loved so very much…but once I had, though I still loved my family, I found I was able to discover that which I had been searching for… myself.

Grew up in a small town and when the rain would fall down
I’d just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be and if I’d end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)
Trying hard to reach out but when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here but something felt so wrong here
So I’d pray (I would pray) I could breakaway

I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes till I touch the sky, and I’ll
Make a wish, take a chance, make a change, and
Breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget all the ones that I love, I’ll
Take risk, take a chance, make a change, and
Breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze, sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get on board a fast train, travel on a jet plane
Far away, and
Breakaway

I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes till I touch the sky, and I’ll
Make a wish, take a chance, make a change, and
Breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won’t forget all the ones that I love, I gotta
Take a risk, take a chance, make a change, and
Breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don’t know where they’ll take me, but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away
Breakaway

I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly
Though it’s not easy to tell you good-bye, gotta
Take a risk, take a chance, make a change, and
Breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget the place I come from, I gotta
Take risk, take a chance, make a change, and

Breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

Painting Pictures of Egypt

Sara Groves

Change. That’s what this song is about for me. The hesitancy of making a change in your life. Again, a song about the choices we make and how they affect our lives. Only this time, it’s more from the perspective of the one making the choices and how those choices are made. Sara Groves uses the story of the Israelites exodus out of Egypt, and the 40 days of wandering that they went through (even though their journey could have only taken a day or two), to the process of change.  This song reflects how I am with change. I don’t like it, and I do not enter into it easily. I like to be in my comfort zone and I’d rather stay there if at all possible. Problem is, being a Christian means stepping out of your comfort zone and into the life God has prepared for you. While I know this, and anticipate all that God has in store for me, I always have that hesitancy-- that initial step off the cliff feeling whenever God calls for a change to be made in my life. It seems that whenever we reflect on our past we leave out the negative things and just see the things we miss and that’s how nostalgia is formed. Even if we were miserable at the time, we look back and say, “oh, just to be back in the good ‘ole days”. I do that too, but more especially when I am faced with a change. However, I have come to learn that change is not always a bad thing, and can oftentimes be a good thing and it helps us to grow and learn. I think I will always initially have this hesitancy though, even while I have learned to overcome it.

I don’t wanna leave here, don’t wanna stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
And the places I long for the most are the places where I’ve been
They are calling out to me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith, it’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable when you move so much
And the place I was wasn’t perfect but I had found a way to live
And it wasn’t milk or honey but then neither is this

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
I’m leaving out what it lacks
Cause the future feels so hard and I wanna go back
But the places they used to fit me, cannot hold the things I’ve learned
And those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned

The past is so tangible, I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
And I was dying for some freedom but now I hesitate to go
I am caught between the promise and the things I know

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
I’m leaving out what it lacks
Cause the future feels so hard and I wanna go back
But the places they used to fit me, cannot hold the things I’ve learned
And those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned

If it comes too quick, I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick, I may not appreciate it

Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

Stations

Denison Witmer

Stations make me think of the end of my freshman year of college. I was introduced to this song through my friend at the time, Amy, and a couple other friends as well. This song first took on its meaning when I had first started going out with Jay and we had started our courtship. As I was entering into a new phase of my life, I was reflecting on the “station” that I was at in life at that point and how many other “stations” had brought me to that point. In other words, I was thinking about the choices I had made and how each of those choices had played their part in bringing me to where I was. I think we all do that at some point… we make a decision, but then we look back and wonder what might have happened had we made a different choice, or how the choices we had made in the past have affected us. Well, that’s what this song means to me. It means looking back on life and seeing the people and places that you’ve been through and how they shaped your life and who you are. When you make a choice that causes a change in your life, do you forfeit all that you were beforehand, or does part of your past still go with you into the future? For me, this song reflects that question…

I’ll be waiting on your train
When you come back, through the Western states
Where I left you on the platform
Life gets so hard, but I know that you’ll be fine

Stations make me think of my own travels
All the people and places I’ve been through
When you find out they’re the same thing
As the people and places where you grew

Can you promise me
You’ll still love, what you loved
When you left?
Will you promise me
You’ll still have, what you had
When you left?

All I want is to be honest
Like the seasons, as talk about that slows
There’s compassion that holds no words
It holds no words
I feel it as you go

Can you promise me
You’ll still love, what you loved
When you left?
Will you promise me
You’ll still have, what you had
When you left?

Miss Independent

Kelly Clarkson

I’d never considered myself to be an “independent” person prior to going to college and meeting Jay (who later on became my husband). I’d always been dependent on some sort of adult figure, be it my parents, nurses or doctors, to guide me along and take care of me. I soon started realizing, however, how guarded I was when it came to guys. I’d had a boyfriend my senior year in high school, which lasted about six months, and while I enjoyed it while it lasted, I can’t say that I fully gave my whole heart to him. I always kept a part of my heart protected for fear of getting hurt. I’d had a negative experience in my past with a man, which caused me to be more guarded later on in life. I was always content with being single and who I was individually. I might have dreamed about one day meeting the perfect guy and getting married, but it was a dream that I never really thought would come true. Anytime a guy would seemingly try to flirt with me or attract my attention it would turn me off immediately. That’s where the “miss if you wanna use that line you better not start” comes into play. Besides having trust issues with guys, I knew that there was something else that almost any guy would be driven away by, and that was my disorder. What guy would be crazy enough to take on a woman who had a life-long disorder that involved so much? I just didn’t believe it could happen. Well, it did obviously, or I wouldn’t be married right now. I still remember first falling for Jay and how scared yet excited I was. I wanted to run away because I didn’t know how to handle the feelings I was having nor did I want to rush into things too quickly, and yet, I just couldn’t stop thinking about him, and I couldn’t deny that connection that I felt every time we were together. At first I pushed myself away from Jay, but after some encouragement from one of my friends at the time who told me to “at least give him a try”, I did just that and it was one of the best decisions I’ve made. So for me this song is about letting down your guard and stepping off that scary cliff and just letting yourself fall… in love.

Miss independent
Miss self-sufficient
Miss keep your distance, mmm

Miss unafraid
Miss out of my way
Miss don’t let a man interfere, no

Miss on her own
Miss almost grown
Miss never let a man help her off her throne, so

By keeping her heart protected
She’ll never, ever feel rejected
Little miss apprehensive
Said, ooh, she fell in love

What is this feeling taking over?
Thinking no one could open the door
Surprise, it’s time, to feel what’s real
What happened to miss independent?
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye, old you, when love is true

Miss guided heart
Miss play it smart
Miss if you wanna use that line, you better not start, no

But she miscalculated
She didn’t want to end up jaded
And this miss decided not to miss out on true love, so

By changing a misconception
She went in a new direction
And found inside, she felt a connection
She fell in love

What is this feeling taking over?
Thinking no one could open the door
Surprise, it’s time, to feel what’s real
What happened to miss independent?
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye, old you, when love is true (when love is true)

When miss independent walked away
No time for love that came her way
She looked in the mirror and thought, today
What happened to miss no longer afraid?
It took some time for her to see
How beautiful love can truly be
No more talk of why can’t that be me
I’m so glad I’ve finally seen

What is this feeling taking over?
Thinking no one could open the door
Surprise, it’s time to feel what’s real
What happened to miss independent?
No longer need to be defensive

Goodbye, old you, when love is true (when love is true)

The Great Unknown

Jayme Salvati

I met Jayme Salvati my freshman year at Shepherd College. I was involved with a Christian organization on campus called Common Ground and she was one of the lead vocals in the Common Ground band that played worship songs at the meetings every Wednesday night. I still remember when she sang this song and I heard it for the first time, it sent a chill down my spine and I have never forgotten it since then. This song was on one of the Common Ground CD’s that the group gave away for free to anyone that wanted one as part of its ministry on the campus. For me, this song marks the transition between high school and college, between living at home and being away from home, between being surrounded by the familiar and comfortable to stepping into new territory, new faces, a new routine and in essence, a new way of life. It served as an encouragement for me to go forward in life knowing that God is behind me all the way and that by having my faith as my backbone, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).

Leave a message cause I’m not home
I’ve gone to conquer the great unknown

With God behind me I’m on my way
All I gotta do is hope and pray, today

Cause if I fall, He’s gonna pick me up
And if I make a mistake, He’s gonna forgive me
And even if I deny His love, He’s gonna help me see the truth
In Him, in Him.

So forget about my fate and forget about my destiny
Cause it’s all about His plan and what He’s got in store for me

Cause if I fall, He’s gonna pick me up
And if I make a mistake, He’s gonna forgive me
And even if I deny His love, He’s gonna help me see the truth
In Him, in Him.

So, leave a message cause I’m not home
I’ve gone to conquer the great unknown